Dear Little –

meant to grab your toddler tunes CD in the car today.

actually grabbed the Decemberists CD. I’m surprised the discs looked that similar. The Decemberists, while a great alternative rock band rooted in exploring the darkness of men and the spirit of the sea, was not exactly what I had in mind for our trip back from the pet store.

You have been humming a little ditty called The Mariners Revenge Song, with these gems.

We are two mariners
Our ship’s sole survivors
In this belly of a whale
It’s ribs are ceiling beams
It’s guts are carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

and the chorus:

Find him, find him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave


Moby Dick by Gianluca Garofalo

Gianluca Garofalo, “Moby Dick”

As a result, we’ve spent the last 30 minutes looking up sea shanties, which was fine until you asked for the Mariners Revenge song. We watched a live version (the band pulled out a simple hinged puppet that “eats” the audience, acting out the whale eating the crew of the ship), and you just thought this was the best song ever.


Apologies in advance to your Kindergarten music teacher.
“What should we sing today, kids?”
Other Kids: “Itsy Bitsy Spi…”
You: “Drunken Sailor!”

So while Mariners’ Revenge and Barrett’s Privateers play on repeat as you sleep under the desk between tantrums when I try to deviate from the playlist, I’m sitting here thinking how I’m going to explain this to the principal in two weeks.

RIP Mary Had a Little Lamb, and Row Row Row Your Boat.