I thought I’d share a highlight of a typical conversation with you, my kindergartner, after school.
You: “Mom? I have a boyfriend.”
You: “His name is Calvin.”
Me: play it cool, McGrath…”So, what is a boyfriend?”
You: “A boy that is a special friend.”
Me: What am I supposed to do now?
You: “Oh and I also have two girlfriends who are girls that are special friends.”
Me: oh, ok. I can work with this. See? No big deal. They are just friends. “Who are they? Your girlfriends?”
You: “Kimberly and…um… some other girl. I can’t remember her name.”
Me: Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. *Snicker* maybe she didn’t notice. So that boyfriend thing. Totally cute! Don’t make a thing out of it… Oh, wait. I have a question. “So, kiddo? Which Calvin is your boyfriend? Is this Calvin with Brody or a schoolmate?”
You: “Both. I mean, they don’t know about each other.”
Me:. *chokes on Lime Ricky*
You: “They each think they are my only boyfriend. But Calvin with Brody doesn’t know we’re boyfriend/girlfriend, but we are. I’ll let him know later.”
Me: Ok, well. That’s respectable.
You: “And the other Calvin doesn’t know about Calvin. But he’s my school boyfriend. They don’t know about each other. That’s good.”
Me: Do kids watch soap operas because this is straight out of General Hospital.
I can’t even.
Can’t we go back to uncomfortably discussing religion or apologizing to some stranger for loudly using inappropriate language in a library or something?