You were very upset last night and kept saying we needed to grab “Little Joe”.
“Kiddo? What is Little Joe?”
“Little Joe, the cookie you made! We can’t leave Little Joe!”
Luckily, your dad finally figured out what you were talking about.
We were at the annual hang-out-at Uncle-Matt’s-and-make-holiday- cookies-extravaganza last night. One of the elves lost a leg so I decorated it as Tiny Tim, complete with an antler from a reindeer cookie kit that was repurposed as a crutch.
Now I want nothing more than you to rewrite the traditional Scrooge Christmas story with obvious “we’re trying not to get sued” names like Little Joe, The Spirit Christmas Now Time, and others.
Mom… And Little Joe.
Last week, you had the chance to take a day off school to see a matinee of The Lion King with Auntie Maura and Aine.
Up until the night before, you thought you were going to a movie theater, not a Broadway production. That’s on me.
But, instead of taking the day off, you protested.
“I need to go to school! I have to go to school! Can I go for half a day?”
Kiddo, hookie. You’re doing it wrong.
You made a Lego thing.
It was a coffee house, but not any coffee house. This coffee house is in the middle of the woods so hikers could enjoy caffeine.
It’s also owned by two dogs.
And despite being in the middle of the woods, this coffee shop has a drive through.
I would 100% go to this place. Also, this proves that you are 100% my kid.
A few weeks ago you went to a class with our neighborhood friends. You were invited to jump in, which after a bit of hesitation, you did.
The next week, you said you wanted to go back. We did. Then you said you wanted to go back yet again so you could kick, dance, play tag with your friends and play music.
Given that music had been a complex issue at school, we said, “Sure!” We paid for a month of Capoeira classes. You even got a little outfit, learned how to tie the belt rope so you’re pants don’t fall down, and get to mix acrobatics, dance, music and martial arts a few times a week.
All I can think of, no matter how hard I try not to, is the episode of Bob’s Burgers when Capoeira is called, “sexy dance fighting”.
You are doing a new thing, having a blast, playing musical instruments, and always want to go back. For that, I’m thrilled.
I’m also tickled because I got to look through funny gifs from Bob’s Burgers, so thanks, Kiddo.
I do think it’s telling that your hopes and dreams at age 7 are a combination of something that removed you from people and finding a way to connect with people.
Two years ago. Local library. Somerville, MA.
Today, you were a big girl and packed your own bag. A small purse that you now own and typically put juice boxes, snacks and picked roadside flowers in.
Today was not typical.
Today, you packed your own bag. “I got it, Mommy.” My first mistake was not checking your bag before we left for the library reading hour.
Today, you unpacked your bag in front of Max and Trudy – the adults who were there to put on a puppet show – and the 15 parents, kids, and librarians attending the puppet show.
Today, you pulled out a juice box, toy pony, dead flowers and what you proclaimed – loudly – to be your favorite pair of underwear.
Today, you made the library roar.
I’ll handle the packing from here on out.
You just used the phrase ‘old skool’ in context, correctly, and impressed a cashier at the comic book shop.
Our parenting work is clearly done. We did a perfect job. There’s nothing else left for us to do.
I mean, sex, drugs, attraction, BFFs falling out, politics, calculus, whatever. You’ll figure it out.
I filled up the bathtub and added some bubble bath because it’s traditionally been a big hit.
But not today.
Today is the day you say goodbye to bubble baths.
Weird milestone, I know. I just thought all kids loved bubble baths – but I guess you’re already outgrowing them in favor of fancier shampoo and conditioner.
But, just when I’m sobbing over the quickness of your growing up and started writing this, things took a turn.
You’re now sitting in the empty bathtub with a handful of conditioner – the same amount you would use if your hair was still long but you are actively rocking a cute pixie cut. You won’t rinse the conditioner out because the water is too cold.
It’s too cold because I filled a bathtub for you with hot water, that you drained because “bubble baths are for little kids” and decided to take a shower, like a big kid, with no hot water because we used it all in filling the bathtub. While the water is lukewarm, you’ve decided it’s simply too cold for you to rinse your hair so you’re sobbing in the bathtub.
So, bubble baths are for little kids, ok. But coping skills are not programmed yet, so here we are.
Ah, you’re ready to rinse. I think. Let’s see how this plays out.